


Forgive Me

by robinasnyder



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-10 00:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1152885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinasnyder/pseuds/robinasnyder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gadreel needs forgiveness for what he's done and who he's loved and how he loved them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scher/gifts).



> Okay, running with the theory that humans already existed on earth, but Adam and Eve were the first of God's chosen people... or something.

Gadreel has a lot of time to think about his mistake in the end. They grab him and drag him down to prison. Their father furious. _'How dare you!'_ he said, one of the only times Gadreel ever saw him. ' _How dare you let him in! How dare you disobey! You have ruined Eden! You have allowed the end of the world!'_

Gadreel felt cold after that. He felt cold the way he'd felt warm before. Lucifer was warm. How was he supposed to know that Lucifer had been cast out? He didn't look different. He wore a human vessel. He shone like he always did. His orders had been to not let anyone in, but who would have said no to Lucifer at that moment?

( _You did. You said know and that was when he kissed you._ )

Lucifer had laid him down in the grass right by the gate. He'd started by kissing his throat. Gadreel had felt so very warm then. Lucifer was as bright as their Father. As bright as all his love. Lucifer was made of their Father's love. Being loved by Lucifer, loving Lucifer was just another way to love their Father. Certainly that couldn't be a sin.

( _You know that's a lie. You knew it then._ )

Lucifer treaded his fingers through Gadreel's feathers while he kissed him. He cleaned and preened and gave Gadreel everything he'd been missing while he'd been on guard duty all alone. Adam and Eve didn't even know he existed and none of the other humans would approach him because they believed he was an evil spirit.

Lucifer brought Heaven to Gadreel. He brought Heaven's love and Heaven's community and Heaven's warmth. And Gadreel fell apart so easily. He kissed back. He gasped under the feelings of human lust that shot through him. Lucifer seemed to know what he was doing, so it had to be okay. That was what he thought anyway. Lucifer ground his hips against Gadreel until hot pleasure shot through Gadreel.

Gadreel didn't remember much after that except waking up at Lucifer was gone and Gadreel was alone. But he still felt warm.

( _He left a bit of himself behind, to brand you as a traitor._ )

And then they came for him. He'd gone back to guard duty, but it didn't matter because the snake was already inside. And Father blamed Gadreel, so all of them blamed Gadreel.

(' _In your weakness, your fear of being alone you've made certain you'll always be alone.'_ )

"It's okay," Abner would soothe through the bars, in barely more than a whisper. It was as loud as they could safely get. He was the only one who ever offered Gadreel forgiveness.

( _'You are cursed.')_

He plunged the knife into Abner's heart because he wanted to be able to atone for what he'd done with Lucifer. He would not be distracted by love again, or not wanting to be alone. He'd be alone if he could bring his people back to Heaven. He'd bring them back and then they'd forgive him. He'd be forgiven and he wouldn't feel so cold anymore.

(' _In your weakness, your fear of being alone you've made certain you'll always be alone.'_ )


End file.
